Are you doing CIO? because you should probably know you are going to hell- AND James will never ever, ever forget this!
Just kidding! We did a modified version of it,and it worked. We did lots of checks. We still agree that so far it is the best parenting decision we have made!
Teddy now wakes up and goes to sleep smiling 95% of the time if that is any consolation.
If you aren't doing CIO and are just having a rough day- BIG HUGS!!!! Things will get better!
Ash, I CIO when there's nothing else I can do. Which seems to happen a lot, so I guess we are "doing CIO". I figure if I am shaking with frustration I should put the baby down and walk away. Either those real attachment parents are saints or I am going to hell.
Taking a break is always best when you are really frustrated- because babies definitely pick up on that anger and frustration and it just adds to the situation. Go outside give a good yell and then go in for another round- you are doing great!!!
Anonymous, did you read my other comments? Maybe I wasn't clear enough (and/or you are mean?!) I don't love the idea of CIO, I hate it, hence this picture which I did not pose for, but found myself in and decided to capture . . . but I can tell you my baby will not go to sleep when I am with him. And I will snap if he doesn't nap. And when I say snap I really mean it. I cry it out when that is the best, healthiest, only option. And honestly, regardless of my mental state, it seems to work best for my son. I never intended to do it, but a smart someone said once that the baby decides what kind of a parent we will be.
And, for the record, though I do leave him alone to fuss himself to sleep pretty much every time, he RARELY actually cries. And when he does, you can bet I'm crying too, but have already tried various things and feel like there's nothing else I can do. But I'm a new parent, maybe I'll get better at this . . . but this is where I'm at now . . . please don't judge me/my process. Every babymom is different and different things work for every one.
No judgement here. I'm a new parent of a baby that doesn't like to sleep well. I find if she's not sleeping, there's usally a reason. Most recenty, it's teething (5 teeth in 4 or 5 weeks!) We have had such trouble with napping lately. I've found nursing her to sleep is the only thing that works. I know that every child is different and not everything works for every child. I wasn't trying to be mean at all, I was just surprised that you went to CIO as it seems like something you would avoid at all costs (of course I don't know you personally, just from reading your blog). Again, I apologize. I'm sorry you took this the wrong way.
Okay I'm glad you weren't judging me, LOL, and just generally asking . . . Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are that I CIO. See my post tomorrow. (At this rate I'll turn into a daily blogger again, haha).
Maybe its time to consider a crib ?? You can leave them "alone" know they are safe, & they can get to sleep on their own. Also, when they wake up, they let you know when they are ready to get up (out) It worked for you. There were times you would maybe fuss a bit, cry a bit, in the end, rolled around & passed. As you know you were a very happy baby. When the situation did arise for whatever reason, missed a nap, off schedule, whatever,(obvi not talking about sick,teething) SOMETIMES a few minutes of screaming in the crib was the only option for you to power down & go to sleep. It is very hard to listen your baby cry, (scream) but if you remember they are overtired, need to sleep & that you really do know what is best for them it almost makes it better. You & James are wonderful parents & doing a super job.
We pretty much never had to CIO when Patrick was a baby - he was really amazing at putting himself to sleep. There were a couple of time where he was over-tired and I was losing my mind where we'd need to do it for a few minutes, though.
Now, however. After two months out of his crib and bedtime taking nearly two hours some nights, we're heading in this direction. If we hit everything right, he'll freak for about 3 minutes and then go back to bed and fall right asleep. But, wow, him standing at the top of the stairs crying and calling for me drives me nearly insane. (And I feel like with him not in a crib I need to be able to hear in case he find something to get into trouble with.)
But, as long as I stay with him he will not go to sleep, and he's started to build up a sleep deficit because of it, and then it's just all bad. So, trying to steel myself to becoming consistent and getting him to learn to go the f*** to sleep on his own again.
(I do call up to him and tell him I love him and that he needs to lie down and that I'll come check on him in ten minutes, so he know he's not alone. But he's pretty much always asleep by the ten minute mark.)
Interesting post, it seems your blog is lately getting lots of comments and controversy.
I think it is great that you use this blog as an outlet at times, but you have to remember that there are plenty of people out there that may stumble upon it and judge you. That is the nature of blogging--someone who has a blog has an opinion and tells the world about it. Other people may choose to respond, and they might judge you in a bad light, or you might have great advice for them and they will judge you in a good light.
As they say in Mean Girls..."Don't let the haters get you down"
17 comments:
are you crying because my legs are hairier than dads and I will be making you rip the hair off them in about 10 days? probs.
I'm actually crying about how hairy my own legs are, but next time I'll cry for both of us. ;-)
Are you doing CIO? because you should probably know you are going to hell- AND James will never ever, ever forget this!
Just kidding! We did a modified version of it,and it worked. We did lots of checks. We still agree that so far it is the best parenting decision we have made!
Teddy now wakes up and goes to sleep smiling 95% of the time if that is any consolation.
If you aren't doing CIO and are just having a rough day- BIG HUGS!!!! Things will get better!
Ash, I CIO when there's nothing else I can do. Which seems to happen a lot, so I guess we are "doing CIO". I figure if I am shaking with frustration I should put the baby down and walk away. Either those real attachment parents are saints or I am going to hell.
Not that CIO is evil, LOL, but sometimes I feel evil for how frustrated I get. :(
Your post surprised me. Have you read this article:
http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/
Taking a break is always best when you are really frustrated- because babies definitely pick up on that anger and frustration and it just adds to the situation. Go outside give a good yell and then go in for another round- you are doing great!!!
Oh and just to throw in a few other random links
http://mainstreamparenting.wordpress.com/2008/06/25/of-sources-and-straw-houses-the-annotated-dr-sears-handout-on-cio/
http://mainstreamparenting.wordpress.com/2008/01/23/when-proof-is-not-proof-apnp-research/
You aren't bad for getting frustrated! Parenting can be frustrating just keep taking it a day/hour/minute at a time:)
Anonymous, did you read my other comments? Maybe I wasn't clear enough (and/or you are mean?!) I don't love the idea of CIO, I hate it, hence this picture which I did not pose for, but found myself in and decided to capture . . . but I can tell you my baby will not go to sleep when I am with him. And I will snap if he doesn't nap. And when I say snap I really mean it. I cry it out when that is the best, healthiest, only option. And honestly, regardless of my mental state, it seems to work best for my son. I never intended to do it, but a smart someone said once that the baby decides what kind of a parent we will be.
And, for the record, though I do leave him alone to fuss himself to sleep pretty much every time, he RARELY actually cries. And when he does, you can bet I'm crying too, but have already tried various things and feel like there's nothing else I can do. But I'm a new parent, maybe I'll get better at this . . . but this is where I'm at now . . . please don't judge me/my process. Every babymom is different and different things work for every one.
No judgement here. I'm a new parent of a baby that doesn't like to sleep well. I find if she's not sleeping, there's usally a reason. Most recenty, it's teething (5 teeth in 4 or 5 weeks!) We have had such trouble with napping lately. I've found nursing her to sleep is the only thing that works. I know that every child is different and not everything works for every child. I wasn't trying to be mean at all, I was just surprised that you went to CIO as it seems like something you would avoid at all costs (of course I don't know you personally, just from reading your blog). Again, I apologize. I'm sorry you took this the wrong way.
Okay I'm glad you weren't judging me, LOL, and just generally asking . . . Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are that I CIO. See my post tomorrow. (At this rate I'll turn into a daily blogger again, haha).
Thanks for no hard feelings!
Oh don't worry, I'm fully aware that I'm a bit . . . oversensitive right now, it's easy to take things personally/the wrong way.
Maybe its time to consider a crib ?? You can leave them "alone" know they are safe, & they can get to sleep on their own. Also, when they wake up, they let you know when they are ready to get up (out) It worked for you. There were times you would maybe fuss a bit, cry a bit, in the end, rolled around & passed. As you know you were a very happy baby. When the situation did arise for whatever reason, missed a nap, off schedule, whatever,(obvi not talking about sick,teething) SOMETIMES a few minutes of screaming in the crib was the only option for you to power down & go to sleep. It is very hard to listen your baby cry, (scream) but if you remember they are overtired, need to sleep & that you really do know what is best for them it almost makes it better. You & James are wonderful parents & doing a super job.
We pretty much never had to CIO when Patrick was a baby - he was really amazing at putting himself to sleep. There were a couple of time where he was over-tired and I was losing my mind where we'd need to do it for a few minutes, though.
Now, however. After two months out of his crib and bedtime taking nearly two hours some nights, we're heading in this direction. If we hit everything right, he'll freak for about 3 minutes and then go back to bed and fall right asleep. But, wow, him standing at the top of the stairs crying and calling for me drives me nearly insane. (And I feel like with him not in a crib I need to be able to hear in case he find something to get into trouble with.)
But, as long as I stay with him he will not go to sleep, and he's started to build up a sleep deficit because of it, and then it's just all bad. So, trying to steel myself to becoming consistent and getting him to learn to go the f*** to sleep on his own again.
(I do call up to him and tell him I love him and that he needs to lie down and that I'll come check on him in ten minutes, so he know he's not alone. But he's pretty much always asleep by the ten minute mark.)
Interesting post, it seems your blog is lately getting lots of comments and controversy.
I think it is great that you use this blog as an outlet at times, but you have to remember that there are plenty of people out there that may stumble upon it and judge you. That is the nature of blogging--someone who has a blog has an opinion and tells the world about it. Other people may choose to respond, and they might judge you in a bad light, or you might have great advice for them and they will judge you in a good light.
As they say in Mean Girls..."Don't let the haters get you down"
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