Another Update

Not in labor.

Goodnight.

Belting my Ribs/Shower-Baths

So I FINALLY think I realized why I have been having such serious back pain. I think my huge uterus/baby is pushing my rib cage apart, and specifically putting pressure on this one spot in my back just because of exactly how James is positioned in there.

The other night I took this belt of James and put it around my ribs and belted it really tight, putting counter-pressure on my rib cage. Of course this was/is uncomfortable in a different way, but it TOTALLY relieved the pressure off of my back. I fell asleep like that, and didn't wake up until 3 am, at which point I thought I should probably take the belt off, but the second I laid back down, my back started hurting again and I regretted it. So I've been wearing the belt around my rib cage here and there throughout the day, especially while I'm sitting or laying down because that seems to be the worst for my back hurting.

And in other news, my new before bed ritual, as I think I've mentioned, is taking a shower-bath. It is so comforting to get in the hot shower and feel my body relax, and then to lay down in the bath and just feel so warm and comfortable. I'm so glad we have the birth tub for me to labor in, because I'm pretty sure I will be in it non-stop, LOL. I think in the last two weeks, I've gone to bed without first taking a shower maybe twice. And I was NOT an every-day showerer before the development of this end-of-pregnancy ritual, let me tell you.

Anyway, I just keep hoping that *this* night will be the last one and soon I will be holding my big beautiful baby on the outside of my body instead of inside and my body will have a break.

40 Weeks

Well, here it is, my due date.

Hopefully these are my last belly pictures until I am in early labor. This may sound like an echo from last week and you'd be right, LOL.

Soooo Soooore

So my patient period has ended and I am back to feeling miserable. My back and belly are just CONSTANTLY so sore and I just want it to be over.

I have another acupuncture appointment tomorrow. Sigh.

0 is the number of days until I can go into labor and still have my home-birth (36 weeks)
0 is the number of days until I am full term (37 weeks)
1 is the number of days until my meaningless due date (40 weeks)
9 is the number of days until the actual average due date (41 weeks and 1 day)
15 is the absolute maximum number of days that I could be pregnant (42 weeks)

Still Pregnant

I am still pregnant.

Plans for today include putting Moxa on my toe . . . this is a Chinese Medicinal herb practice in which a coal made of Moxa is lit and then the hot coal is put near an acupuncture point (and/or injury) to increase qi-flow to that area.

So there's this one point on the pinky toe of either foot that is connected to stimulating labor. We're doing that now--ie, I am sitting here writing this blog while James is holding the Moxa coal near my toe.

Other plans for the day include finishing raking the leaves in our yard (I'm so glad we are almost done, geez we have a lot of trees!), and then I'm going to mow the lawn on our riding mower (ie, take a long ride down a bumpy road, LOL). It has been broken for months and we just got it back and fixed, so I'll do the final mow of the season, which will also include blowing the final "spread out leaves" into piles so James can haul them into the tiny strip of woods we have that separates our yard from the neighbor's.

So those are all my "trying to get labor started" plans for the day.

And last but not least we'll go to buy a fishnet in case I give birth in the water and we need to skim the birth pool (LOL). We've been meaning to do this for ages but keep forgetting when we are out of the house.

In other news, it's been like 5 days now since I printed out the checklist and hung it on the fridge and it has definitely helped me be more productive--though I think I had a shift in the productive direction to have even typed it up and printed it in the first place, so maybe I was just ready to start being productive again, anyway.

But along with me using the list, I have also been trying to train James to use it--he responds really well to to-do lists but I want to make it more ingrained as a daily-use tool, so that when we are home for a month with a baby it will help him stay more focused and productive while I'm spending the majority of the time feeding the baby. Ideally, instead of me having to tell him what to do, he'll be able to look at the list and see what needs to be done. So I figure the more practice we can get in with it before Little James is born, the better off we'll be!

Finally, I have another "labor induction" acupuncture appointment on Tuesday--if I haven't gone into labor on my own by then. So, hopefully we'll have a baby by Thursday at the latest. Stay tuned!

Renewed Patience and Energy

So after being SO DONE and fed up with being pregnant for the last two weeks, starting yesterday I had a renewed level of patience and energy.

For the last two weeks I have been completely exhausted no matter how much I slept, which was generally for at least 11 hours each night, and I was totally unmotivated to do ANYTHING and was spending 95% of my awake time on my couch, watching TV and being online, and for most of the rest of the time I was in the shower or taking a bath to ease my sore freaking body.

But a couple days ago (I guess, after my acupuncture appointment), I suddenly woke up motivated and energetic. I mean, at least with a normal amount of motivation and energy compared to the absolute slug I had been. After neglecting my to-do list for probably the last month, I electronified it, and printed it out and hung it on my fridge and started to check off some basic things like: "Load the dishwasher" and "clean the kitchen".

Honestly, I haven't been THAT productive yet today but compared to two weeks ago I would practically still be in bed. So the day is still early and I hope to get a few more things done.

Along with this new energy, I also have a new sense of patience about when the baby will arrive. I have been out of my mind with feeling so done and like he just needed to be BORN ALREADY. But now that I realistically have another week at the most that I will be pregnant, it's almost like I have a new-found appreciation for the ability to get a few things done around the house and sleep through the night. I guess with it being this close, I just realize that I could have him any day, and is tomorrow that much worse than today? Most days I think, "No tomorrow would be totally fine--or even the next day . . ."

I mean would it really hurt if I had one more day to potentially even clean my bathrooms before that becomes a way more challenging affair? Or even this weekend--if James and I had one more weekend to rake leaves and get things done before he got here, would that be so bad? No! So suddenly I am patient again, and grateful for it because the impatience was driving me insane.

But hey if I get to my due date on Tuesday, we'll talk again and see where I'm at.

Labor Vibes

So I sent my darling family members a text a few hours ago that said: "I'm feeling kind of weird, just wanted to let you know so you could keep your phones nearby."

Basically, I had my acupuncture yesterday, and this morning and today I have been newly energetic--after having no energy or motivation for several weeks now. Today I made an excel file out of my daily to-do list/checklist (that I had been really into and had blogged about often but which has been neglected now for several weeks). AND I ACTUALLY DID some of the things on the checklist--cleaned up the kitchen, watered the plants, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, washed dishes, etc.

The other thing I did last night and again this morning was drink "Smooth Move" Tea, because I've been seriously constipated for days. My midwife assured me that this tea was serious business and would cause the desired effect. After last night's cup (and no/little results), I was sure I would wake up this morning itching to go. Annnnnd, not so much. So I had another cup this morning. And still nothing.

Anyway, I started to feel pretty uncomfortable a few hours ago. I had just finished making "Labor Lasagna", a recipe of my own design including eggplant and a lot of spicy peppers (and veggie sauce and veggie "cheese", etc). But I was getting a little worried about even eating it because I felt so internally weird that I wondered if I should even introduce the crazy spicy food into my body! I was almost feeling hot and cold flashes and this restlessness and general weirdness.

At this point I sent the text to my darling family. MOSTLY because my Mother had told me repeatedly to call her if I even felt different at all. So I did, I let her know. So then she immediately called me, and all my sisters texted me back, asking if I was in labor, what was going on, etc.

"No, I'm not in labor! I just feel a little uncomfortable," I said.
"Uncomfortable how?" said my Mom.
"I don't know, just weird--look you asked me to tell you if I felt different at all and I do so I'm telling you!"
"Are you emotional?"
"No!"
"Well look out for that! Oh here Dad wants to talk to you."

"A?" says my Dad, "What's up are you having contractions?"
"Just Braxton Hicks but I've been having those for months."
"But are they coming regularly?"
"No, look I'm not in labor, Mom just said to call if I felt ANYTHING different so I did that."
"Have you been walking?"
"No." (And in this moment I pictured myself waddling through BJ's with my sister yesterday. I can't walk, are you kidding?) "No."
"Walk. That is what is going to get you going. You gotta get out there and walk."
"Okay, I'll keep that in mind." At this point I am getting more and more physically uncomfortable and really don't want to be on the phone. "Okay I'm going to go."

So after these thrilling conversations, I tried the labor lasagna. And it was not actually that spicy, which was good because, as I mentioned, I'd started to get a little worried about how spicy I thought it would be, and if it would even be edible, give me heartburn, or make me have a horrible labor in which I was throwing up spicy food and having spicy diarrhea as I attempted to move a baby through my body.

So I ate some of the lasagna, and started getting another discomfort attack. I visited the bathroom and low and behold, I pooped a little. Not a lot, but some.

Then Amy and Karl showed up and we hung out for awhile--I ate more lasagna, bounced on my birth ball, and when they left I got a serious attack and ran to the bathroom and it happened finally. The smooth move. Not even diarrhea at ALL, just a big ole satisfying poop. God, I was thrilled. I don't know what helped more, the tea or the lasagna! I just hope things keep up this way because I must have days and days of "moves" that need to be "smoothed out" in there.

Anyway, long story short: I do not appear to be in labor, but rather to have endured an internal battle between constipation and "Smooth Move Tea". However, I still think that things do seem to be setting themselves in order somewhere in my mind/body and I would not be at all surprised to go into labor tonight or tomorrow.

Especially since I will be eating "Labor Lasagna" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Acupuncture!

So I had my first (and hopefully only) acupuncture appointment today for stimulating me to go into labor. God I think I was in the best mood ever when my friend Craig came in to needle me. He was like:

"So if you are still a week away from your due date, you might end up going a few days early if we do it today. Is that okay?"

"GOD, YES, IT IS AWESOME. DO IT. DO IT NOW." I said. And the look of eye-rolling joy that those caps conveys is a perfect vision of what I looked like in that moment. Picture those horses who look insane and their eyes are rolled back in their head and their mouth is hanging open. That was me.

"It should work pretty well since you are young and healthy and everything," he went on.

(YES AWESOME THANK YOU.) I was as freaking jovial as a kid on Christmas morning, and that is after only like 5 hours of sleep--easily half what I need to feel rested.

So now I'm guessing any time between tonight and Sunday. So probably the 10th-14th. That window is like half as big as my original 9th-18th one!

Anyway, if I'm still pregnant on my due date, I have another appointment then.

Insomnia/Showers/Nerves

Topic One: Insomnia. It is 5:30 in the morning and I've been awake for two hours. No, I'm not having contractions or any signs of imminent birth. I just plain can't fall asleep. Basically over the last couple weeks, I have increasingly had trouble falling asleep--"trouble" meaning that it takes me 30 mins or an hour to fall asleep at night instead of being able to fall asleep immediately, and if I wake up in the middle of the night to pee (inevitably) it may again take me 30 mins or an hour to fall asleep . . . and this is the second or third time that I haven't been able to fall back asleep at all. So here I am.

Topic Two: Showers. Well, taking a LONG shower/bath has become a nightly (or nearly nightly) ritual for me...I'm just so uncomfortable--my back always hurts so much, and sitting around in the evening I just start feeling so uncomfortable and crampy and everything that I inevitably end up going to take a shower. I think it helps to relax all my muscles so I'm less likely to need to put ice on my back in order to fall asleep--and I'm less likely to be insomnia-ish. It obviously didn't help much tonight. :-/

Topic Three: Nerves. Not like nervousness. Like, there is a baby head pressing against the nerve that runs down my inner thigh and I'm increasingly hit by shooting pains down my inner thigh all the way down my leg. Some days/hours/etc this has been happening rather OFTEN--a few times an hour or something, and sometimes seemingly over and over . . . the other night I could NOT lay on my right side or it would just happen repeatedly. And I couldn't lay on my back either, so I was stuck on my left side without being able to move into any other position. Siiigh. I guess it's a sign that he is very low. He seemingly has dropped several times. So I have stabbing nerve pains.

And that's that. Sorry for the complainy-ness. Honestly I don't even care about all this stuff at this point because I only have a week left (give or take a few days). So who cares--bring it on. I can survive anything for a week.

OMG Thank You Notes!!

I did it, people! I wrote my thank-you notes for my shower!

I must confess that this is the first time in my adult life that I have completed thank-you notes. I did some for my wedding but it was like over a year late and a bunch of people had moved and (excuses excuses)... long story short, some people got them but plenty of people didn't.

So I'm serious about how proud I am of myself! The sad part is, that I actually think Thank-You notes are really important--an exercise in gratitude, which has so many benefits . . . I totally intend to make Little James write them when he is able to write. And yet, I can never manage to do them. It is some ADD thing, I think.

To their credit, my Mom/sisters TOTALLY helped me out by doing a "game" at the shower where everyone wrote down their own name/address on the envelope (before I even got there), and then I picked an envelope out of a bucket and that person got a gift basket, LOL! So I didn't even have to do the envelopes (and STILL it has taken me weeks and weeks!!)!

But maybe this will be a new start for me and thank-you notes! Maybe I will successfully complete them from now on! Maybe I have broken through the psychological barriers that held me down! Maybe . . . not, LOL! But I think the next time I have to do thank-you notes, I will be able to think back on the happiness I now feel, and know that in my past, there was a moment when I successfully wrote thank-you notes . . . and that will give me the confidence I need to do them again!

I was thinking I would even send out Christmas cards this year, since we'll have a cute face to put on one of those picture Christmas cards, hehe.

Who knows, people, this could be a new life for me.

And with this done, I think it is REALLY time now for James David to show up! Don't you think?

Countdown

Time to crunch the numbers, no?

0 is the number of days until I can go into labor and still have my home-birth (36 weeks)
0 is the number of days until I am full term (37 weeks)
11 is the number of days until my meaningless due date (40 weeks)
19 is the number of days until the actual average due date (41 weeks and 1 day)
25 is the absolute maximum number of days that I could be pregnant (42 weeks)

I added a new one, did you notice? I don't know if I ever blogged about this, sorry if I did, but the 40 week due date was determined somewhat randomly in the 1700's.

Since then, repeated research has demonstrated that if women are left to go into labor on their own, the average due date is actually NOT 40 weeks, but 41 weeks and 1 day.

Of course I am hoping beyond anything, at this point, that I am not average and James David decides to show up earlier than that. But it's a good thing to keep in mind.

My Mom said she started feeling "so done" with like 5 weeks to go. OMG I'm so glad I only started feeling this way at 37.5 weeks!

Evacuation Strategies

So there are the old wives tales about getting the baby to come out. Like eat spicy food, have sex, and take long walks.

I'm not yet desperate enough to try any of these strategies.

However, at the recommendation of my acupuncturist (and midwife), I have been starting to try some other things over the last week.

First, I've been taking Evening Primrose Oil. This is supposed to soften the cervix, preparing it for birth. I was taking 500 mgs for a few days, and now I've been taking 1000 mgs for a few days, and today I'll probably bump it up to 1500 mgs. Craig (acupuncturist) says in the week before my due date I can take up to 5000 mgs! Since that is 10 pills a day, we'll see how I do, but I've been trying to increase the dosage steadily at this point.

Second, I've been drinking Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. This is supposed to tone and condition the uterus (ie, induce contractions). I've been drinking it pretty much non-stop for the past 5 days or so--maybe like 6-10 cups a day. And I've been making it strong, too, letting the tea bags sit in our little tea crock pot for hours before I take them out.

Third, I've been bouncing on the exercise ball (or birth ball). This helps to open the pelvis and allow the baby to drop down farther. Yesterday I got a good 15 or 20 minute stretch in and I definitely felt like it was helping increase the pressure on my satch. (LOL)

And that's about where I'm at.

On Monday I'll be one day short of 39 weeks and I'll kick things up a little bit. I have an acupuncture appointment that day. Craig has had a lot of success helping ladies go into labor--if not right away after the acupuncture, at least within a day or two of their due dates.

If I am still pregnant the next Monday (the day before my due date), I have an additional appointment with him then as well.

Unfortunately, none of these things REALLY work until the baby is ready to come out on his own. :-/ Honestly I don't feel like anything is going to happen in the next few days. I have slightly more hope for next week after the acupuncture appointment.

Despite my complaining it really is okay that he is still in there. I don't know if I shared this article on here, but I saw a really good article a few weeks ago about how even full-term babies that are early (37 or 38 weeks) have more issues with breathing, feeding, etc than babies born after 39 weeks. The bottom line is that babies really are supposed to cook for just about 40 weeks (give or take a week).

So despite all my complaining, aches, and pains, I'm actually glad that he is still in there. But I'll be 39 weeks on Tuesday. (Hint hint baby).

P.S. I just realized I covered a lot of these things in slightly less detail in my D.O.N.E. post like two days ago. Clearly more evidence that my brain is going and James needs to be born soon!

Bad Blogger!

So I haven't written anything in like two days--though on Wednesday the computer was broken so I couldn't use it at all.

But honestly if I was blogging, it would sound like this:

Whhhhiiiiiiiiinnnneee.

Just to give you a tiny taste:

-I have been sleeping on ice packs. That's the only way to make my back stop hurting for long enough that I can fall asleep. To numb it.

-My midwife called me today to ask if we could push my appointment back to tomorrow, and I was SO glad because it meant I could put off cleaning my house (well, my coffee table at least) for an additional day. I might even try to get James to do it instead.

-Now I'm off to take a shower in which I will mostly sit in the tub and let hot water beat on my back in the hopes to make my sore muscles relax.

See? Doesn't it sound like a big whiiiiiine to you? Sorry folks that's all I got right now.

P.S. Dear Son, please finish cooking and come out of the oven.

D.O.N.E.

Yep, totally done with this whole pregnancy thing.

It's SO weird how I watched other people go through this "end of pregnancy-so done" phase and thought that I would have so much more patience when I got to "that" point, and it's only two more weeks, they should just buck up and stick it out, yadda yadda.

Well, now all my well meaning advice is coming back to bite me in the ass because NOW I know how they actually felt. Yes, logically I have 2, 3, or even 4 weeks left. But you can bet your butt that if I make it to my due date, two weeks from today, I will be JUST as desperate, miserable, and impatient as (almost) every other pregnant woman who makes it to her due date.

To recap--I'm sleeping just about 12 hours a day every day. This has been the case for awhile. Just TRY to wake me at hour ten and you will pay. However, until about five days ago, this half of my life I spent sleeping was mirrored by awake hours where I was, as my midwives describe, quite perky. I had a good amount of energy, could get plenty of stuff done during the day, etc.

However, for the past 5 days or so, the 12 hours don't seem to be enough. I'm tired again an hour or two after I wake up--I can't focus on anything, my brain feels like it is in a fog . . .

Then there is the physical discomfort. I need to sleep on ice packs so that I can fall asleep without my back hurting. There is no position I can lay, sit, stand, walk in that I am not completely uncomfortable. This makes falling asleep or getting into any kind of "relaxed" position very difficult. Right now I'm perched at the edge of my couch with my stomach hanging off the front and my laptop on the coffee table.

And, I have no energy to do anything. The laundry and dishes pile up. I only make dinner because I'm hungry and really want to eat it. I really hope that I have some nesting energy hit me before I go into labor so that Lil James isn't born into a filthy hovel. My days are spent sleeping and whining and trying not to be too miserable--watching TV and attempting to distract myself from my physical discomfort and irritability.

So the strategies to evacuate baby Irwin begin. I'm not nearly desperate enough yet to try sex or spicy food, especially given the discomfort and heartburn I felt after my last spicy food experience. But I'm chugging red raspberry leaf tea like it is my job, and I'm taking Evening Primrose Oil daily. Craig (acupuncture friend) said I could take up to 5000 mgs a day (or of Borage Oil), but not to get that high with the dosage until I get to 39 weeks. I've been taking 500 mgs a day for the last week, I'll probably bump it up to 1000 mgs today though and increase little by little until I'm taking as much as I can.

I have an appointment with Craig on Monday (one day shy of 39 weeks) to start baby evacuation acupuncture. It's not really supposed to work until the baby is ready anyway, but he claims to have never had more than one or two women go more than a day or two past their due dates. SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. At this point being pregnant until 42 weeks--a serious possibility for the average (non-intervened) person--sounds akin to Chinese water torture.

I AM READY TO MEET YOU, LITTLE JAMES! It seems like you have plenty of energy but Mommy has none. Please come out now as soon as you possibly feel ready.

38 Weeks!

I'll be 38 weeks tomorrow and I'm honestly getting ready to be done now. It's like someone flipped a switch inside me like three days ago and suddenly I am exhausted no matter how much I sleep, and there is literally no way for me to be comfortable in any position.

But I probably only have about two weeks left so it is OKAY.

Anyway, here's my 38 week belly pictures!