Expecting our Little Brother in November!

pregnancy calendar

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Community Center!

So I did something I've been meaning to do for a long time and our family joined the local community center!    It has a gymnasium, gym equipment, a walking/jogging track, and most especially, a pool!  We were motivated to join this weekend in the unbelievable humidity and went right home to get our bathing suits so we could go swimming!

Other amenities include on-site child care (for an extra $2 an hour), an arts and crafts room (though not really sure what/when it is used for or open?), a teen center, and a community room with this crazy lego structure/bin/table/bridge and books, computers, and TV's.

Our fav things are probably going to be the "Tot time" in the gym (with riding toys and gym mats/soft structures) every weekday morning from 9-12, and of course the pool.  One awesome thing about the pool is that there is not only a regular pool that is often open for general swim, and is 80-85 degrees, but there is a therapy pool which is open every evening and sometimes during the day for family swim and is 90-94 degrees.  I seem to get cold easily in water for this pregnancy (and hot easily in the humidity, go figure), and Jamey can get cold, too, after swimming for a little while, so we have really been enjoying hitting up the therapy pool.  Another benefit to the therapy pool is that one whole corner is a set of stairs which go gradually into the pool--perfect for a little kid to play on.

Actually when we (Jamey and I) went there today, it was not "supposed to" be family time in the therapy pool but I was sort of dreading the 80 degree water so I sort of just walked over with Jamey and got in.  There was only one other lady in there probably doing actual water therapy, and shortly after we got in, the lifeguard went over and talked to her, probably saying:  "Do you mind this pregnant lady and her kid swimming in here with you?"  And she must have said "No" because he didn't kick us out.  Score.  I was careful to stay out of her way though and we mostly hung around the stairs anyway.

I'm really excited about the pool access, especially as my belly gets bigger and heavier, it will be nice to give my back a break in the buoyancy.  I also think it will be really nice, once we have little Julien to be able to go to the Tot time in the gym and the pool--the community center is only about 2 miles away from our house so it is just a really nice accessible activity that is close to home and has a lot of different options for use.

So yay for the community center!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Mom of 2?

I'm almost 6 months along in my pregnancy with little Julien . . . in about 3 more months I will have a tiny baby seemingly dropped into my life (that's what it felt like with Jamey)!

But what's different this time around is having another child here already.  I wasn't nervous when we were thinking of getting pregnant, trying to get pregnant, I wasn't even nervous at the beginning of the pregnancy probably because I was throwing up too much to think about anything else.  But as it gets closer . . .

On the one hand I think it will work out fine!  I have been able to keep Jamey interested in nursing (even though my milk dried up after the first trimester), and hopefully he continues to be interested . . . it would be nice to be able to nurse them both at the same time instead of having to try to entertain Jamey separately while nursing Julien... maybe even a little relaxing to have that quiet time?

But what about the other times?  Jamey is really really good about entertaining himself and playing alone, but when he feels jealous of me or like I am paying too much attention to something else, he can get very upset and clingy  . . . if Julien is an easy baby like he was, he hopefully won't mind being stuck in the swing for frequent naps or be propped up on the couch to observe the world while I do normal stuff with Jamey, but what if he's one of those babies who refuses to be put down, who won't nap easily . . . will I be able to handle it?

Then there's me.  The last person on the list . . . I always think to myself that I'll be able to put my self aside and just spend a few months focused on having two babies . . . but will I really deal with this?  In the past the "plan" to forget about myself has never worked out.  I must be a lot more selfish than my Mom was when we were young, but after a few weeks of putting myself aside I start to long for adult time and conversation, for an online outlet, for intellectual challenge . . . and this longing, if unaddressed, becomes something darker and more harmful--a resentment with guilt attached--a sense of deserving but not deserving . . .

So now with three months left I start to worry.  Will I do it?  Can I handle it?  Well I don't honestly know.

What I do know is that I've figured a lot of things out in the last almost-2 years of being a stay at home Mom.  How important play-dates are.  How important it is to try to get out of the house every day.  How much having a bit of a schedule can help me and Jamey both feel happy and healthy . . . How rejuvenating it can be to chat with another Mom at a playground . . . and I have a great therapist right now who specializes in postpartum depression, I've made great strides in the past 6 months in learning how and when to reach out for support and help when I need it.  I'm not the same person I was when I felt lost and unsure of how to find myself again . . . so I'm hoping it will be okay.

Maybe it will even be good.  And in another part of me I start to long to hold and cuddle my sweet new baby . . . I'm excited as much as nervous and so we march on.
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