First Inappropriately Probing Question from a Stranger

So my parents had a graduation party for my sister, who finished college in the spring, and my Dad, as usual, had managed to invite one of his extremely awkward and socially inept friends. That's not to say that all his friends are awkward and socially inept, but the ones that end up coming along to our family parties on an offhand broadly inclusive invite generally are.

So he says: "You're pregnant!"
"Yep," I confirm.
"I wanted to wait until I was sure to say something."
"That is usually a good idea."
Then he says, "Are you having an episiotomy?"

I look at him in shock for a minute before recovering myself.

"Uh, no."
"How about an epidural?"
"No, no . . . "
"Are you going to do natural childbirth?"
"Well, that's the plan!"

Then I get to hear all about his ex-wife's birth and her epidural.

But seriously? Who asks someone if they are going to have an EPISIOTOMY? An epidural, okay, I get it. But an episiotomy?

As the party progresses, this guy goes on to prove that he probably has Aspergers Syndrome or something else that prevents him from functioning normally in a social environment.

For the record, no one does episiotomies anymore unless they are absolutely necessary. Like the baby's head is right there but won't come out. Spread the word so no one ever asks me that again.

Vagina Stretching: It's a TMI Topic

So, as most of you are aware, I will have to push a baby out of my vagina, now in just THREE (yes THREE) short months. Some of you might have observed that the average vagina has a much smaller circumference than the average baby head. Therefore, to celebrate and prepare for this awesome (and quickly approaching) occasion, James and I began stretching my vagina today (I told you this was TMI).

Actually, it's called perineal stretching (does that make this a less weird topic if I call it that?). I just googled it so I could post an "explanation link", but honestly, I think that would be even weirder. To make a long story short, it helps the pregnant and birthing woman if she is used to the feeling of her vagina and perineum being stretched. Also, it can help increase the flexibility of the vagina and perineum. It can help prevent tearing and help avoid an episotomy (which no one really does now-a-days anyway).

It is helpful for the partner to do it because it becomes harder and harder as the belly gets bigger for the Mom to even reach down there, let alone providing any organized stretching exercises. So James assisted me today with this interesting exercise for the first time, and we plan on keeping it up throughout the final trimester, hopefully increasing in how much we are able to stretch it out as time goes on.

Honestly, it hurt a lot more than I was thinking it would. In reading about it, it mentioned that your partner's wrist could start to hurt from the applied pressure. It never mentioned that the Mom would also be hurting. But my reaction was both "Ouch" and "Wow, thank God we are doing this now, how the HELL will a baby FIT through here, talk about ring of fire, geez."

Just sayin.