Vegan Still?

After writing my last entry I started thinking . . . so many people I know who are vegan or vegetarian add meat or cheese back into their diets after getting pregnant . . . people have asked me if I was/am tempted to eat meat or dairy again once I was pregnant and now that I'm breastfeeding, and the answer has always been a resounding no.

However, I wondered to myself if this would change if my diet was limited even further--specifically by needing to eliminate soy. Soy features LIKE meat a lot in my diet--making up a lot of protein and dairy-ish foods, so I think I would be pretty hurting without it. I'm still praying that this ends up not being an issue, but honestly I'm still certain that I would not eat dairy or meat.

More and more often now when I see meat I think "dead animal", "carcass", "cadaver"--it's funny because I have never been like this before. I was never a vegan "offended" by meat and I would often watch my Mom or my Step-Father-In-Law prepare and cook meat because I like cooking but obviously never cook meat. So I felt like it was interesting to me to watch how other people prepare this type of food . . . however, something changed recently.

I still wouldn't say I was OFFENDED by meat, but it definitely makes me sad to see, which it never has before. I think about how that animal was killed to sit on the table or wrapped up on the deli counter. It's like the normal distancing that people do is gone and a steak is a slice of cow--when I see the steak or chicken, I picture them slicing up a dead animal and I feel so sad for the cow or chicken.

Well what about dairy or eggs then? Well, dairy and eggs are also highly allergic to small babies so I don't know if I would even have the option to be "vegetarian", but again I just can't "stomach" it. The idea of eating milk that came out of a cow's nipples just weirds me out. And eggs? Chicken period. Sorry but it's true and that's what I think of when I see it.

So no, no, I don't think I would do it. People are vegan for many reasons and lots of vegans are tempted to eat dairy and eggs the way I am tempted to eat bread when I am being gluten-free. However, I am NOT tempted to eat meat, eggs, or dairy. It is gross to me. I don't care if other people do it! But I will not do it--even to the detriment of my health, to be honest, which might be counter-intuitive. But I guess to me it's almost like asking an omnivorous person if they would eat human flesh if they were starving.

Would I eat meat or eggs if I were STARVING? Well, probably. But in any other case, probably not.

Big Allergy/Rash Update

So I was completely exhausted when I wrote my last entry, which is why I didn't explain well to my doctor what I had noticed, and I didn't explain well on here what I was feeling about my doctor--which, in retrospect, is unwarrented considering what I actually said to him.

I went to my parents house on Wednesday, until Saturday morning, to visit them and my sister Lauren, who was home for a few days. I took the baby but left the husband. For some reason, I had the hardest time sleeping at my parent's house--as the days passed I began to fall into a serious stupor. Like when you are so tired that you start stumbling around and can't think of words and stare into space when people are trying to talk to you.

So deep was my exhaustion that I even took a pregnancy test this morning--though I think God himself would have been the father if it had been positive--but it wasn't.

Anyway, due to this state, when the doctor called me back, the conversation went something like this:

Me: Yeah, hi, I think James is allergic to gluten.
Doc: Why do you say this?
Me: Well, he has this rash on his forehead since he was like a week old, but I had reduced eating gluten for my own reasons for a few days and it started to get better. Then I ate a lot one day and the next day it was horrible!
Doc: What does the rash look like?
Me: It is red, flaky, inflamed, pussy, and appears to be itchy at least sometimes.
Doc: Well, gluten doesn't pass into milk, which is why cows can eat wheat but milk is gluten free.
Me: ::Flabbergasted at this inarguable logic:: Wow. Yeah, you're right. ::Doesn't know what to think now::
Doc: It's possible he's allergic to wheat or something else you are eating ...
Me: I wondered that and tried eating barley and rye and the next day it was really bad again. Do you test babies this young for food allergies?
Doc: No, not as much food gets into milk as people think. It's probably (fancy medical names for normal baby skin rash), eczema, etc. Try putting X Y Z on it, but it will go away with time . . .

Now, due to my extreme exhaustion and flabbergasted state, I totally failed to mention his other symptoms of an allergy--excessive gas, spitting up, and green, watery, mucousy poops . . . and the fact that this has also improved since I stopped eating gluten.

So I got off the phone feeling still certain that he was dealing with a food allergy but thinking that my doc wasn't taking me seriously. In retrospect, I didn't really explain myself well . . .

Regardless, I have continued to avoid gluten and James' rash is almost totally gone. Considering he has had it since one week after he was born I HIGHLY DOUBT that this is a coincidence. So as people pointed out in my last entry, he is probably allergic to WHEAT (the second most common allergin for newborn babies after milk, NOT GLUTEN as I'd written/thought before).

However, I also realized that I also didn't eat any soy while I was at my parents' house. Maybe he is allergic to soy as well, and so when I thought he was reacting to barley and rye he was actually reacting to soy (I'm not certain I ate it that day but it's pretty darn likely)!

So my plan at this point is to avoid ALL gluten (wheat, barley, and rye), AND soy until the rash is totally healed (probably only a few days from now). Then I will try first eating barley, then rye (and these foods, besides the gluten, aren't very highly allergic), and THEN soy, and watch his reactions very carefully.

I REALLY REALLY hope that he isn't allergic to soy, because that would reduce my list of okay foods to eat to almost nothing--okay, this is an exaggeration, but tofu and other soy replacement products feature pretty significantly in my diet. Things I eat often that I wouldn't be able to eat anymore: Fried Tofu, Tofu scramble, Vegan mac and cheese, pizza with cheese, soy yogurt, tofu pups (vegan hot dogs), edamame, tempeh . . . these foods make up a really good portion of our diet. And they are some of the most protein rich meals that we eat . . .

So I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY hoping that it is ONLY wheat, and NOT soy that we are dealing with. But it's definitely one or both since I'm happy to report that his rash is almost totally healed AND he is hardly spitting up (or burping) at all . . .

So I'm glad to be finally getting to the bottom of this, and I would be thrilled if I could still eat rye bread . . . but I would much rather be able to eat soy . . . keep your fingers crossed, people!

Say what Doc?

Supposedly gluten doesn't pass into milk (cows eat wheat but cow's milk is gluten free). However, I know what I've seen, and I'm a very observant and intelligent person . . . and James' rash (and spitting up) has DEFINITELY been improving since I stopped eating gluten. I'm going to completely avoid it for another week, and then try eating barley (which is wheat free but contains gluten) . . . sigh.

Sorry I've posted so much about this . . . this is my first time of wishing that my doc would trust my mommy instinct a little more . . . :-/

Gluten Free Genetics

Someone asked if I thought James was allergic to gluten because I was on a low gluten diet while I was pregnant with him.

I tried for three years to get pregnant, and I was not able to do so until I stopped eating gluten, in combination with other things. This is probably because of a gluten sensitivity, or possibly low-level Celiac's disease. Because of the intestinal inflammation that the gluten causes (evidenced by my swollen stomach), I was unable to absorb nutritional properly and therefore my eggs could not grow properly.

(Additionally I had ovarian inflammation (Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which could have been caused by the gluten allergy or was a symptom of a related problem--I took Glumetza for that (but maybe the gluten-free diet would have been enough?) . . .

Anyway, being gluten-free was a necessity so that the fetus (Little James) could get the right nutrition while he was in there and could grow.

I think him being allergic to gluten is probably related less to him being exposed to it sparingly in the womb and more to do with him being my son, and since I am sensitive to gluten he is more likely to be sensitive as well.

Anyway, gluten and dairy allergies are among the most common for small babies, and typically they will grow out of them with time.

I think him being allergic to gluten is also a symptom of the problem with the FOOD. In the US, all the wheat grown is a high-gluten, genetically modified strain. Our bodies are not made to process it, and so we have more and more people identifying that it is a problem for them.

Oh well. I am DEFINITELY healthier and I DEFINITELY feel better when I'm not eating it, and now since I've seen how miserable it makes him, I won't be eating it any more. I'm happy about it in a way because I know it is better for me. It's just hard to give up something you like so much . . . :-P

Barley and Rye

After not eating any gluten at ALL for a few days, James' rash was fading. So last night I tried some rye crackers and cookies made with barley flour to see if James reacted to them. These grains contain gluten, so the test here was to see if he was allergic to WHEAT only or to all gluten.

And this morning he woke up to the rash on his head being red and inflamed and itchy. Now that he has better control over his hands, it is more obvious that it is itchy and he was rubbing his face all morning (sigh), I feel so bad now but at least now I know that I really can't eat any gluten at all.

So I'm going to avoid it for a few months and maybe try it again when he's six months old or so and see if he reacts to it still.

Wii Exercises

So James bought this new Wii workout game (EA Active 2), and we both started this nine week program that has you work out four times a week for 20 mins. It runs you through a warmup, workout, and cool down. It is pretty fun and definitely challenging.

So both of us are like a week behind (we've only done 3 workouts in a week and a half instead of 6 or 7), but still I can tell that we are getting into a better habit of trying to workout a few times a week. I have never in my life worked out at all, but the program is good, they have you do all kinds of games and activities and you don't have to remember how many times you've done different exercises, because it is recording it for you.

Between this and being quite strict about not eating gluten, I'm starting to feel a lot better about my body. As I should have predicted, my stomach became much flatter since I haven't been eating gluten and I even lost a couple pounds for the first time since James was born!

Gluten-Free Update

So after deciding to be, for lack of a better word, "gluten-reduced", I had a few days where I ate very little gluten. I was still eating cheerios (who has a minor ingredient of "wheat starch"), and occasionally, Ezekial bread (made with a variety of sprouted whole grains, one of which is wheat, others of which are barley and rye, which also contain gluten). However, I wasn't really eating any other very gluten-y things, and I was completely and strictly avoiding high-gluten foods like fake meat, bagels, and white squishy bread.

After several days of this, I thought I noticed a reduction in the rash on James' forehead. But it was hard to tell, and on a day where I cheated a bit more I didn't notice an increase. I began to wonder if it wasn't something else in my diet--maybe soy?

But on Sunday we went for a lovely and delicious dinner to my Grandmother's house. She made an awesome all-vegan meal for us. The salad was a half-avocado with celery, green onions and lemon-infused olive oil and balsamic vinagrette on a lettuce leaf (YUMMY!!), then we had chibatta (sp?) bread with lemon-infused olive oil, and for the main course, stirfried garlic green-beans, and tri-color rotini pasta with fresh basil, fresh tomato, garlic, fresh oregano, etc.

It was delicious but I was OBVIOUSLY taking a break from my gluten-reduced-ism.

But I woke up the next morning to James' forehead being angry, red, oozing, scabby and AWFUL. Furthermore, he seemed very drowsy (he took a 3-4 hour nap when he usually only sleeps for 1.5), and I found all these scratches on his forehead! I wonder if the rash is itchy, too?

So I think maybe it IS gluten causing his rash and apparently avoiding it has made a bigger difference than I thought. Furthermore, the drowsiness is a symptom of Celiac's Disease (sigh).

Anyway, I feel awful that my gluten binge affected him so, but I guess I will just try to be careful in the future and it actually helps to know that there is a point to doing it. I feel much more resolved now than I did before.

Our Healthy Dinner

This is what we had for dinner tonight. Gluten Free, Vegan, with veggies, fruit, nuts, and beans! Super healthy and very delicious!

Grudgingly Gluten-Free Again

Well, I've basically come to the conclusion that I need to stop eating gluten again (or greatly reduce it). Not NEED to but I guess I want to. James has this skin rash around his eyebrows, hairline, and temples, and it definitely fluctuates in "intensity", so I think it is something I'm eating and I am very suspicious that it's gluten.

Additionally, I definitely don't feel good when I eat high-gluten things like bagels and fake meat, and these were the things I missed when I was gluten free (and BREAD and pizza, of course). Furthermore, I guess it's really not that hard to stay away from it--basically the more I eat it, the more I want it, and the less I eat it, the less I want it . . .

For me it seems to make a big difference when I feel like I COULD eat something if I wanted to. Or being able to have it every once in awhile. The thing that drove me crazy when I was pregnant (especially toward the end), was feeling SO guilty when I would eat it, and so feeling like I really *couldn't*.

So now, while I will definitely be MOSTLY gluten free, I'll still treat myself to the occasional bread, crackers, pizza, etc. Furthermore, with baking things, it is definitely easy to reduce the amount of wheat flour and replace it with buckwheat, oat, millet, or other gluten-free flours. Having just a little bit of wheat can usually affect the desired result.

Honestly I think the hardest thing with changing your diet is re-establishing a shopping list--like figuring out what your normal breakfast, lunch, and dinner foods are . . . and there's plenty of gluten-free products that are just as good, or better, like quinoa pasta (yum yum). And fruits and veggies are gluten-free, thank God.

I also think that I eat healthier when I'm being gluten free because I tend to eat more fruits and veggies instead of filling my diet with bulky grains without as many nutrients and vitamins.

So that's where I'm at. It sort of sucks because I love bread so much, but it is definitely healthier for me, and probably for James David as well, so that's that.

Common Foods that are Dairy-Free

Here's a bunch of stuff that someone avoiding dairy could eat--all these things are also vegan or can be made vegan. Things that are also gluten-free will be marked (GF). See alternate sources for dairy here.

For breakfast:
Oatmeal (not instant)--made with vegan "milk" and "butter"
Cheerios
Raisin Bran
Rice Crispies (GF)
Corn Flakes (GF)
Frosted Flakes (GF)
Crispix (GF)
Chex (GF)
Kix (GF)
(there are a lot of other vegan cereals as well)
Fruit, obviously
Applesauce
Toast with vegan butter, jam or jelly (check bread label but many are vegan/dairy free)
Bagels with vegan cream cheese or butter
Stirfried Potato (hash browns)

Lunch:
Salad with vinaigrette(GF)--add beans, nuts, seeds, and a variety of veggies for fullness and health
Sandwiches:
-peanut butter and jelly
-peanut butter and banana
-hummus, lettuce, and tomato with salad dressing or "vegenaise" veggie mayo
-meat or tofu, lettuce and tomato with salad dressing or "vegenaise" veggie mayo
-lentils with grated carrots, chopped celery, and lettuce
-tomato and spinach
Wrap: flour tortilla with veggies (tomato, lettuce, spinach, sprouts, cucumber, grated carrot) hummus, and/or deli meats

Snacks:
Potato Chips (GF)
Pretzels
Sweet and Spicy Doritos (this one specific Doritos flavor)
Corn Chips with Guacamole and/or salsa (GF)
Ritz Crackers
Saltines
Fruit (GF)
Baby Carrots with hummus (GF)
Celery with peanut butter (GF)

Dinner:
Pasta with red sauce
Lasagna
Mac and "Cheese"
Grains:
-rice (GF)
-quinoa (GF)
-millet (GF)
-barley
-oats (arguably GF)
Baked Potato (eat with vegan butter, vegan sour cream, steamed broccoli, etc)
Steamed or stirfried Veggies with vegan butter (all GF):
-broccoli
-carrots
-kale
-spinach
-asparagus
-Brussels sprouts
Tempeh (sometimes GF)
Tofu (GF)
Tacos (with meat or fried tofu, lettuce, tomato, hot sauce, beans, rice, avocado, etc) (GF)
Burritos with beans, rice, meat or tofu, spinach, tomato, other veggies
Hot dogs or tofu pups (GF without the bun)
Veggie burgers (can be dairy and gluten free, read the labels!) or meat burgers (GF without the bun)

Dessert:
Fruit (GF)
Dairy-Free Ice Cream (GF)
Pies made without butter (easy to make but hard to find in the store!)
Oreos or Newman O's
Dark Chocolate

I'm going to have to update this more, I know there are a ton of other things.

The basic point of this post is to answer the question: What is there to eat that doesn't contain dairy and/or that is vegan? And honestly it is a lot of stuff. The most common foods are already vegan, really!

Dairy Free Superlatives: Best Substitute Products

The number one thing to dairy-free eating is knowing the best substitute products, and it seems to be pretty unanimous among the dairy-free community which ones are the best. I want to go on record that the brands matter here, that is the whole point of this post. If you get a random dairy-free milk or yogurt (not the brands I recommend here) and it is horrible, realize that I am recommending these SPECIFIC brands for a reason. Try them first and then compare with other brands.

One thing to note is that soy and dairy are very similar proteins.  Many people who have issues with one will have similar issues with both.  If you are still determining you/your baby's allergens, do NOT go too heavy on the soy products because it could confuse the issue.

Also, everything listed here is also gluten free!

Best Dairy-Free Butter: Earth Balance (or Soy Garden—same thing).  Also there is a soy-free version available that's equally good.

This margarine has NO hydrogenated oils, and so does not have that weird mouth coating taste that most margarines have. This means it is healthier than most margarines. It is also less calories than butter, but does contain palm oil, which is a (more healthy) saturated fat. Therefore this butter substitute also has a rich flavor similar to normal butter.
Uses: On bread or toast, in any recipe that calls for butter, in any situation where you would use butter.
Cost: Around 3 dollars for a 15 oz tub


Best Dairy-Free Yogurt: Whole Soy and Co, Soy Yogurt

We like the vanilla best, plain is also good. I usually get it in the big containers but there are smaller ones with fruits like you would pack in a lunch. Very creamy and delicious and has the same health benefits as dairy yogurt because it has the same probiotics (acidophiles, etc). Has that tart yogurt taste.
Uses: As yogurt—NOT a sub for Greek yogurt, though. Soy yogurt has a much thinner consistency than a thick yogurt like Greek yogurt.
Cost: About 4 dollars for a 24 oz tub, 1.50-2.50 for small (6oz) flavored ones.
*soy-based, use sparingly


Best-Dairy Free Cream Cheese: Tofutti Better-than-Cream Cheese

This comes in several flavors and varieties. There is a non-hydrogenated version which I would recommend—it is harder to find but worth it in terms of health.
Uses: On bagels or crackers, in recipes that call for cream cheese
Cost: Around 3 dollars for an 8 oz tub
*soy-based, use sparingly


Best Dairy-Free Ice Cream: SoDelicious Coconut Milk Ice Cream

It is TO DIE FOR. Most people that I know agree that it is as good or better than dairy ice cream. Again, the coconut has healthy saturated fats that give it a rich and creamy taste. Comes in MANY flavors and varieties.
Uses: As ice cream—in rootbeer floats, in sundaes, in banana splits, you know.
Cost: Around 5.50 or 6 dollars for a pint—ouch! Yeah, it is expensive but totally worth it if you have an ice cream craving!


Best Dairy-Free Cheese: Vegan Gourmet Cheese Alternative

We like Monterrey Jack better than Mozzarella, and we like the Cheddar, obviously! Needs to be cooked at temps over 450 degrees (or in the microwave) to achieve melting—for some things like grilled cheese, I pre-melt it (in the microwave) before putting it on the bread or in a cheese sauce. We like to grate the entire thing when we open it, and then keep it in the freezer, and just break off some as needed.
Uses: As a MELTING cheese. On pizza, in lasagna, for grilled cheese, etc. Not really good as a cold cheese (not on crackers, sandwiches, etc). Good in hot cheese sauces for pasta or veggies.
Cost: About 3.50 for a 8 oz brick.
*contains soy, use sparingly


Best Dairy Free Cheese Topping: Nutritional Yeast

Believe it or not, nutritional yeast which is VERY high in Vitamin B 12, very low in calories, and delicious, is both dairy-free and tastes like cheese.
Uses: As parmigiana cheese—on pasta, pizza, casseroles, etc. Can also be used to flavor almost anything. Good on toast or bagels with butter, on salads, etc.
Cost: Depends on where you get it! A bit expensive but since it is used sparingly it lasts for a long time (think of it as a food supplement or spice).


Best Dairy-Free Sour Cream: Tofutti Better-than-Sour Cream

Uses: On Mexican food, on baked potatoes, in recipes that call for sour cream, and to add creaminess to just about everything: mashed potatoes, soup, cheesy pasta sauces, etc.
Cost: About 4 dollars for a 12 oz tub
*soy-based, use sparingly


Best Dairy-Free Milk*: Almond Breeze Brand Almond Milk

This is starred because there are a MILLION different milk alternatives.  Again, I would not do soy, but would try Rice, Almond, or coconut milk first.  Most people prefer one to the other, and they are very different in terms of sweetness, thickness, etc.

Uses: In recipes that call for milk, for dunking cookies, in cereal . . .. see my note about drinking milk below.
Cost: About 3 dollars for a half gallon. The cost of other brands and types of milk vary greatly.


Things there are, unfortunately, no adequate substitute for:

Cold Cheeses—you can find dairy free cheese slices, but it’s not really the same. There is no sub for a slice of cheddar cheese on a cracker, or fresh mozzarella, brie, etc. Something you have to learn to live without.

Milk for Drinking—If you are someone that straight up likes to drink milk, there is no perfect substitute. A lot of people like to drink Almond milk, but it will take an adjustment period. This is something else you just have to accept that it’s not going to be the same and see if there are things that you can like about your alternative milk of choice. Most people I know who liked drinking milk and then switched to a dairy-free milk did NOT like it at first (including myself). I just kept forcing myself to drink it and I hated it less and less and then I actually started to like it, and then I REALLY started to like it. Give yourself time on this.

I think that’s it, really! Most things are easy to substitute and live without once you know what to replace them with!

Pregnancy as a Healthy Time

Every day, people ask me how I am feeling. It's true that some people have a horrible time with morning sickness, but I didn't. What I notice more is that I feel HEALTHY.

It's true that I have been vegan for a long time, and in a sense that makes it a lot easier to be healthy--but there are bad ways to be vegan too--and James and I have had those months, days, meals, plenty of times.

But before getting pregnant, my body was whacked out on gluten (and the longer and more strictly I avoid it now, the more sensitive I feel to it); I didn't pay attention to taking multi-vitamins, DHA, and lots of other things that my body probably is in need of (especially when I WAS eating gluten) . . . in a lot of ways, my body was out of balance, and part of our journey to get pregnant was correcting that balance as well. I started going to the chiropractor, getting treatments for food sensitivities, completely stopped eating gluten--and learned a ton about how my body works and why.

Now as summer blossoms, more than anything else how I FEEL is healthy--I have been eating tons of fruit, and that, like being vegan, seems to add some automatic health into my life--I've been more active--starting to enjoy the warm weather, getting tanner, taking tons of vitamins, not drinking--I just feel good.

And what I've noticed about some other women is it seems to go the same way. People who are overweight, if they are serious about being healthy during pregnancy, seem to most often not gain much weight, and then lose a lot after the baby, especially when breastfeeding. People who are already thin typically stay thin if they are taking care of themselves.

A friend of mine observed that pregnancy taught her to care about her body and now she is taking pride in it after her son was born. I hope I can remember this lesson as well!

Dinner

So, last night we had dinner with the in-laws and also brother-in-law and sister-in-law. (I'm going to be annoying and not use their names for this whole post because we got into this huge discussion/argument about facebook, privacy, etc, and I just feel like in the wake of that, I should not use any of their names. Even though BIL is a writer, goddamnit, he should stop censoring me! Okay, sorry, pregnant lady hormones. Anyway...)

My MIL has been vegan and gluten-free (for the most part) for several months now, and has found that this diet very effectively manages her blood sugar. She has even been able to stop taking meds, has lost a bunch of weight, etc.

Now (meat and gluten eating) BIL and SIL are staying with them for a few weeks before they head off to Russia (SIL's homeland) for the summer. So the last few times we ate over there, MIL and SIL made dishes--which were really good but I could tell they are out of their element.

So we are scheduled to go over their house for a co-birthday dinner (MIL's is in a few days and SIL's is in a few weeks, but they leave for Russia on Monday), so I offered to make the whole dinner--both because it was their birthdays and because they both cooked the last few times we ate together and I made nothing.

Now, I love cooking! But my stupor that I mentioned in my last post seemed to stretch on and on into "I am fighting off a virus" sort of tired/nausea/phelgmy throat . . . so on Thursday, in the wake of a huge headache, I made James come with me to the co-op to get all the things I would need to cook, and on Friday I found myself laying on my couch UNABLE to motivate myself.

Finally I managed to clean up my kitchen, and I brought the cutting board and veggies into the living room so I could sit on my couch, cut up veggies, and watch X-Files reruns all at the same time. I figured the X-Files would distract me from my stupor. I started this cutting at 2:30, and I wanted to leave for MIL's house by 4:30, get there at five, and finish the cooking there.

Around 4, I had almost finished the first (main) dish--Moroccan Tagine. It is a red lentil and spring vegetables stew. I have made it before so I knew it was DELICIOUS. But there are a TON of veggies in it, and despite nearly an hour of dedicated cutting, and then another hour of cooking while cutting, I was done with this one dish, and had started the rice (a mix of brown and wild) but had like three more to go.

Finally I broke down and called James. The original plan was for me to show up at MIL's house with the food--some cooked, some to cook at her house, and he would meet us. Around 4, I realized it was not going to happen, hence the phone call.

James: "Hi Honey! How is everything going?"
Me: "Well, I finished the Tagine."
James: "Well, that's good!"
Me: "Yeah but we still don't have cupcake papers."
James: "Oh damn, well, do you want me to get some?"
Me: "Yeah actually, that's why I was calling. I don't think I'm going to be able to get all this food to your Mom's house by myself. I just started the rice and it's going to take an hour to cook."
James: "Oh."
Me: "Can you come home and help me?"
James: "Um, yeah okay let me just finish up here."

We hang up, and I reaffirm my love for my husband, and I start on this sauce. This is a made-up recipe by me that is supposed to go over steamed bok choy. As part of my previous cutting frenzy, I cut up a TON of shiitake mushrooms (this was what took the longest).

So then I simmered ginger in olive oil for a minute, then added the mushrooms, which immediately soaked up all the olive oil. So I added more, and vegan butter (earth balance) and eventually got them stirfrying as well. Then I added cornstarch to create a gluten-free version of roue, then added homemade soup stock. While that simmered/thickened, I food-processed a can of black beans into paste, and added to the sauce. And that was the shiitake mushroom/black bean sauce.

At this point I searched for the tofu that I planned to baste with the sauce, to go with the bok choy, only to find that we ate it already. :-/ Oh well.

Then James gets home. Yay!! He makes gluten-free cupcakes. From a mix. I'm not a big fan of mixes but I am new to the gluten-free baking world and I'm not quite clear on the chemistry of different flours and ingredients yet.

So I'm onto making the last dish. This one is "Braised 3-Seed Cauliflower".

As an aside, when I speak of cooking, you can usually tell whether it is a real recipe or an "Adrienne Recipe" by the name. Compare "Moroccan Tagine" and "Braised 3-Seed Cauliflower" with "Shiitake Mushroom/Black Bean Sauce". If I was naming the other recipes, the Tagine would be called: Red Lentil and Veggie Stew; and the Braised Cauliflower would be called: Cauliflower and Tomato Stirfry.

Anyway, back to the recipe. Both of these actual recipes are from this book: Vegan with a Vengence. It, along with it's fellows: Veganomican, Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, and others, are hands down the BEST vegan cookbooks anywhere, any time.

So I made the cauliflower and tomato, and it was ready just as the cupcakes came out the oven. But, if you recall before I got distracted by cooking, I'm still in a stupor. I am sitting on a stool in the kitchen--unshowered, wearing dirty sweat-pants and a glazed expression. I pick out suitable transport dishes for the food, go upstairs, change, and report back down as James is loading all the food into bags and we are off to the inlaws.

We eat pretty much right away (well, after I steam the bok choy--that was the last thing to be done), and everyone is in agreement that all the food is incredible. People even like the recipe I made up myself (which honestly, I wasn't crazy about)--but the cauliflower is BANGING and so is the Tagine, of course.

Then we open presents and cards, eat cake (MIL also bought an amazing gluten-free vegan cake from this specialty store. At first I was mad that she was buying her own cake but OMG it was incredible), and argue about Facebook.

See my next post for the conclusion of this exciting tale.

OMG

I just made this "Egg McMuffin with Cheese", which is in quotes because every aspect of it was fake, considering it was vegan and gluten-free.

The egg was made of tofu baked (fried) with a baste of coconut oil, gluten-free soy sauce, maple syrup, salt, hot sauce (just a little), and nutritional yeast.

The "muffin" was these awesome (gluten free, vegan) "English Muffins" made by Ener-G.

The "cheese" was fake vegan cheese--but this kind that actually melts.

So after I baked (fried) the tofu in the oven for like an hour, flipping it every 15 mins or so and applying more baste, I eventually took slices of fresh tomato and laid them over the slices of tofu and baked it for like 5-10 more mins.

Meanwhile, I toasted the "muffin", and then sprinkled it with the vegan cheese, and then also put it in the oven for the cheese to melt.

And then I just put the tofu/tomato on the cheesy muffin, sprinkled a little more nutritional yeast, and walah, a vegan Egg-McMuffin.

OMG it was SO SO SO good. I can't even express HOW GOOD it was. If I had another English Muffin-y thing I would have eaten another one, and normally I try not to have too much of that fake gluten-free bread stuff.

I just want to make sure any readers understand that this is NOT a healthy recipe. Coconut oil is full of saturated fats--and while in its raw, uncooked form, it does have some benefits (raising good cholesterol which then fights bad cholesterol), once you heat it, these benefits are lost.

And since pretty much every other ingredient (besides the tomato) was 100% fake and super processed, there is ZERO argument for this being a healthy recipe. Trust me, it doesn't matter that it is vegan and gluten free. I think health wise, it is probably on the same level as a sausage egg mcmuffin (from McDonalds). I wouldn't even compare it to a regular egg-and-cheese muffin because I'm pretty sure those are healthier.

But I can say with pretty much complete abandon: I DON'T CARE. It was DELICIOUS, and I will definitely be making this recipe again.

We'll see what "after effects" I have to endure from eating all this fat and fake $hit, though . . . but oh man was it good.

Happier Things

I am really (this time, I think) actually finally pregnant. I attribute this almost entirely to starting a gluten-free diet in December (and glumetza ). After beginning the gluten-free diet, I got pregnant every month for three months (my rate before the gluten free diet was about once every six months)--only to experience two (more) chemical pregnancies (very early miscarriages) before finally getting pregnant this time, and staying pregnant with the help of the medication progesterone.

Of course, after the miscarriage last summer and a grand total of six chemical pregnancies over the last three years, I have been EXTREMELY hesitant to allow myself to get excited about this. The list of people we have told is ridiculously short: Ophelie, Craig and Yaling (our acupunturist and chiropractor), and of course our doctor. And that's it. One SERIOUS blessing with the miscarriage was that almost no one knew we were pregnant, so we didn't have to deal with the dreaded "untelling". So this time, I haven't told anyone.

BUT! I am ten weeks today and several times we have seen a little heart beating away in our blob of a baby bean. Still though, you can always find the stories of people who miscarried after seeing a heartbeat, so I have remained cautious--and yet as my stomach begins to pooch out and my breasts grow heavy, it is hard to contain my excitement for much longer.

So here is this blog post. Honestly the very short version of things. But I have to start somewhere, and apparently ten weeks is when my excitement has beat out my nervousness in beginning to record my life with baby within.

James is glowing at least as much as me. And again, I cannot stress how ridiculously amazing he has been. I have been on bedrest since about six weeks--I had some spotting and of course my doctor wanted to be as cautious as possible with my history--and I have spent the last month on the couch. And James comes home, and he cooks, and he cleans, with never a hint of a complaint, and when I apologize for not doing more, he hugs me and kisses me, and puts his hand on my belly and says: "You are growing our baby--that's enough." There are no words, right?

Infertility definitely makes you appreciate the fragile miracle that life is. So here is the start, and I am happy to report a happy, moving, heart-beating little baby with an almost complete set of organs here at ten weeks. He graduated just today from being an embryo and is now a fetus. Congrats little Irwin, you are doing great!