If you haven't heard about my new blog series "Old School Sunday", read the back story!
And if you want, catch up on what you missed (read from the bottom up!)
Getting to the end of the fall semester of my sophomore year in college . . . just started writing again after a six-month break . . .
11th December 2002
3:26am
Current Mood: satisfied
"Would it be possible for humans to feel love as deeply as they can, but not hate? Just as the existence of Heaven can only be explained in the face of Hell, I am afraid that hate is connected to love too strongly to separate out one from the other. Psychologists say that chemically, hate and love are identical. People say that you can only truly hate people that you love. I say that people choose their own emotions, and if they don't, the emotions choose them, and control is lost."
So that was what my away message said, and then I read it over and I started thinking. What if the body just produces a physical (chemical) reaction to our world, and it is our brain that assigns value to these, in essence, emotions. If we realize this, we start to realize our ability to control how we feel, at every moment of our lives.
Expecting our Little Brother in November!
Showing posts with label LiveJournal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LiveJournal. Show all posts
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Old School Sunday: What I said to Greg
If you haven't heard about my new blog series "Old School Sunday", read the back story!
And if you want, catch up on what you missed (read from the bottom up!)
I was a month into my first summer break from college. . . missing my college friends like Greg B...
15th June 2002
3:45am
Current Mood: contemplative
I might be wrong.
I think that the difference between sane people and SOME insane people, you included, is that insane people are more easily able to forget hypocrisy, injustice, madness, sadness, and sorrows. Insane people like you are the ones who recognize the world for what it is, and cannot seem to reconcile the positivity of existence in such a barren and unhappy place.
Luckily, I am one of those who easily forgets, but not everyone is this lucky. I suppose I just think that even though the world is horrible in many ways, it isn't natural that this is true. I think nature gave us this perfect, beautiful, amazing place, and it is only some of the things that we do with it that makes the world horrible. And I can't help thinking that someday things will be different. That someday, there will be an equality between the beauty of nature and the goodness of people.
And I suppose that the meaning of MY life, not to speak for anyone else, is trying my hardest at all times to help the balance be achieved. There's not really anything else I could do.
And if you want, catch up on what you missed (read from the bottom up!)
I was a month into my first summer break from college. . . missing my college friends like Greg B...
15th June 2002
3:45am
Current Mood: contemplative
I might be wrong.
I think that the difference between sane people and SOME insane people, you included, is that insane people are more easily able to forget hypocrisy, injustice, madness, sadness, and sorrows. Insane people like you are the ones who recognize the world for what it is, and cannot seem to reconcile the positivity of existence in such a barren and unhappy place.
Luckily, I am one of those who easily forgets, but not everyone is this lucky. I suppose I just think that even though the world is horrible in many ways, it isn't natural that this is true. I think nature gave us this perfect, beautiful, amazing place, and it is only some of the things that we do with it that makes the world horrible. And I can't help thinking that someday things will be different. That someday, there will be an equality between the beauty of nature and the goodness of people.
And I suppose that the meaning of MY life, not to speak for anyone else, is trying my hardest at all times to help the balance be achieved. There's not really anything else I could do.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Old School Sunday: Three Friends
If you haven't heard about my new blog series "Old School Sunday", read the back story!
And if you want, catch up on what you missed (read from the bottom up!)
I was recently returned home from my first year of college and the news from several of my friends was not good. :(
14th May 2002
9:20am
Mariclare:
I talked to Mariclare on ?Sunday? ?Monday? (Will the days ever separate themselves out?) and she told me that they found two lumps in her mothers breast. The reason I couldn't say how this makes me feel is that I am quite sure that I have separated the fact itself from my emotions completely.
All I can say is that if Mariclare lives in NH this summer, I will miss her very much. Dreadfully. Painfully. I already miss her enough. I don't know. I wouldn't even ask her to NOT go because of me though, because I really do believe that it would, under some circumstances, be the best thing for her. COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
Greg B:
I think Greg feels as if he is losing his identity--becoming whatever people expect him to be perhaps. I wish that just sometimes, if he were sad or depressed or annoyed or anything, that he would tell me, or just act like it. Usually when we are together he and I are both happy. However, I think we both know that his happiness is only the surface, and probably the least important, of how he feels. I wish that I knew for sure how he felt. I feel like sometimes, when it is very late, and he is very tired, too tired perhaps, to be the actor anymore, he allows me a tiny glance into himself. He is serious instead of jovial. These are the times that it is HIM and not the actor, and these are the times that I love him best and worry about him most.
Although he is simply responding to everyone else. No one likes to hear about other peoples depressing mentalities about this or that. However, I pick and choose those people who I will bring down with me--surely this is ?LOL? true friendship. I wonder if Greg picks or chooses. Is this act simply consideration on his part? If it is--just know that I know, GB. And know that your identity must be expressed--no matter how much other people may not like the morose. If you continue to become the actor, I am quite certain you will forget how to turn off the actor, until it consumes you and your entire life is a farce for other people's pleasure.
D:
I can't even believe this shit about D. He has been expelled from school and from what Norm says, he will not be back next year either. An entire semester down the tubes at the very end. So much work and money for nothing. I thought the police were there to help the rest of us become better and more productive citizens. Surely being the cause of a good kid to drop out of school is doing that. Way to go.
And if you want, catch up on what you missed (read from the bottom up!)
I was recently returned home from my first year of college and the news from several of my friends was not good. :(
14th May 2002
9:20am
Mariclare:
I talked to Mariclare on ?Sunday? ?Monday? (Will the days ever separate themselves out?) and she told me that they found two lumps in her mothers breast. The reason I couldn't say how this makes me feel is that I am quite sure that I have separated the fact itself from my emotions completely.
All I can say is that if Mariclare lives in NH this summer, I will miss her very much. Dreadfully. Painfully. I already miss her enough. I don't know. I wouldn't even ask her to NOT go because of me though, because I really do believe that it would, under some circumstances, be the best thing for her. COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
Greg B:
I think Greg feels as if he is losing his identity--becoming whatever people expect him to be perhaps. I wish that just sometimes, if he were sad or depressed or annoyed or anything, that he would tell me, or just act like it. Usually when we are together he and I are both happy. However, I think we both know that his happiness is only the surface, and probably the least important, of how he feels. I wish that I knew for sure how he felt. I feel like sometimes, when it is very late, and he is very tired, too tired perhaps, to be the actor anymore, he allows me a tiny glance into himself. He is serious instead of jovial. These are the times that it is HIM and not the actor, and these are the times that I love him best and worry about him most.
Although he is simply responding to everyone else. No one likes to hear about other peoples depressing mentalities about this or that. However, I pick and choose those people who I will bring down with me--surely this is ?LOL? true friendship. I wonder if Greg picks or chooses. Is this act simply consideration on his part? If it is--just know that I know, GB. And know that your identity must be expressed--no matter how much other people may not like the morose. If you continue to become the actor, I am quite certain you will forget how to turn off the actor, until it consumes you and your entire life is a farce for other people's pleasure.
D:
I can't even believe this shit about D. He has been expelled from school and from what Norm says, he will not be back next year either. An entire semester down the tubes at the very end. So much work and money for nothing. I thought the police were there to help the rest of us become better and more productive citizens. Surely being the cause of a good kid to drop out of school is doing that. Way to go.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
New Blog Series: Old School Sunday
So many years ago I kept a different kind of blog using LiveJournal. I actually like LiveJournal a lot because on each entry you can choose to make it public, private, or shared with only certain groups of LiveJournal friends.
I started my LiveJournal in 2002, and wrote through about 2006.
When our story begins (post to come in a bit), I am coming to the end of second semester of college, and still suffering from a strained relationship with my parents due to (ADHD, Adolescence, Insolence, the Desire to be Independent while Dependent and the Resentment that Comes with it, etc.). Additionally, at this point I had already met my friend Laccone, who would introduce me to Yan Xin Qigong. However I hadn't started practicing yet, so I was still in mood of searching for spiritual direction and a teacher . . . and therefore thinking a lot about a lot of deep things (perhaps quite typical for a college freshman?).
Annnnd, I was kind of a hippy in the aftermath of 9/11--my dorm definitely served "Freedom Fries" in the dining hall for several months. (But don't worry, I don't get dreadlocks and join an anti-war tent city campus protest for another year, so I'm still swinging toward the left at this point, haha. ;-)
So that's where we're at! Every Sunday I'll share a "guest" blog post from 18 soon to be 19 year old me, apparently living the typical "finding yourself politically, spirituality, familialy, and emotionally" sort of college life during 2002-2006.
I'm quite interested to see this story unfold. I haven't even read these journal entries for many years . . . so it will be as much of a surprise to me! ;-)
I started my LiveJournal in 2002, and wrote through about 2006.
When our story begins (post to come in a bit), I am coming to the end of second semester of college, and still suffering from a strained relationship with my parents due to (ADHD, Adolescence, Insolence, the Desire to be Independent while Dependent and the Resentment that Comes with it, etc.). Additionally, at this point I had already met my friend Laccone, who would introduce me to Yan Xin Qigong. However I hadn't started practicing yet, so I was still in mood of searching for spiritual direction and a teacher . . . and therefore thinking a lot about a lot of deep things (perhaps quite typical for a college freshman?).
Annnnd, I was kind of a hippy in the aftermath of 9/11--my dorm definitely served "Freedom Fries" in the dining hall for several months. (But don't worry, I don't get dreadlocks and join an anti-war tent city campus protest for another year, so I'm still swinging toward the left at this point, haha. ;-)
So that's where we're at! Every Sunday I'll share a "guest" blog post from 18 soon to be 19 year old me, apparently living the typical "finding yourself politically, spirituality, familialy, and emotionally" sort of college life during 2002-2006.
I'm quite interested to see this story unfold. I haven't even read these journal entries for many years . . . so it will be as much of a surprise to me! ;-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
