Old School Sunday: Three Friends

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I was recently returned home from my first year of college and the news from several of my friends was not good. :(

14th May 2002
9:20am

Mariclare:

I talked to Mariclare on ?Sunday? ?Monday? (Will the days ever separate themselves out?) and she told me that they found two lumps in her mothers breast. The reason I couldn't say how this makes me feel is that I am quite sure that I have separated the fact itself from my emotions completely.

All I can say is that if Mariclare lives in NH this summer, I will miss her very much. Dreadfully. Painfully. I already miss her enough. I don't know. I wouldn't even ask her to NOT go because of me though, because I really do believe that it would, under some circumstances, be the best thing for her. COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

Greg B:

I think Greg feels as if he is losing his identity--becoming whatever people expect him to be perhaps. I wish that just sometimes, if he were sad or depressed or annoyed or anything, that he would tell me, or just act like it. Usually when we are together he and I are both happy. However, I think we both know that his happiness is only the surface, and probably the least important, of how he feels. I wish that I knew for sure how he felt. I feel like sometimes, when it is very late, and he is very tired, too tired perhaps, to be the actor anymore, he allows me a tiny glance into himself. He is serious instead of jovial. These are the times that it is HIM and not the actor, and these are the times that I love him best and worry about him most.

Although he is simply responding to everyone else. No one likes to hear about other peoples depressing mentalities about this or that. However, I pick and choose those people who I will bring down with me--surely this is ?LOL? true friendship. I wonder if Greg picks or chooses. Is this act simply consideration on his part? If it is--just know that I know, GB. And know that your identity must be expressed--no matter how much other people may not like the morose. If you continue to become the actor, I am quite certain you will forget how to turn off the actor, until it consumes you and your entire life is a farce for other people's pleasure.

D:

I can't even believe this shit about D. He has been expelled from school and from what Norm says, he will not be back next year either. An entire semester down the tubes at the very end. So much work and money for nothing. I thought the police were there to help the rest of us become better and more productive citizens. Surely being the cause of a good kid to drop out of school is doing that. Way to go.