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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Adoption Decisions

James and I talked the other night and came to a few decisions about our adoption process (subject to change at any time, obviously!):

-We are not ready to start planning this, even if it would take 5-6 years to adopt from China and that was our original country and timeline.

-Russia will probably be a better option than China.
+The adoptions are quicker, so we could realistically wait 4 more years before beginning this process and could still be bringing our child(ren) home in 6 years.
+There are less restrictions about family size, parental age, how young the other children are, etc.
+My sister-in-law is Russian so our child(ren) would have the opportunity to spend his/her summer there with his/her Aunt and cousin(s). It is important to me that our child(ren) be able to have a tie with his/her/their homeland. We were originally thinking China because we have a lot of Chinese friends and exposure to the Chinese Culture, but realistically, Russia is actually a better option and our child(ren) would be able to speak Russian at family gatherings with their Aunt and cousins? That's amazing!

-And our final decision: We might be more interested in a sibling set (2 biological siblings), one infant, one 2 or 3. We discussed how much it might mean to our children to have a biological sibling--instead of being one among us, he/she would have someone who has gone through what they have gone through, common interests, etc. In terms of the healing that needs to happen with adopted children (especially older ones)--we think having a biological sibling will be huge, especially in their adult lives. Plus you can usually get "discounts" (seems like a weird word for it but yeah), meaning that it might not cost too much more to adopt two children than it costs to adopt one.

So that's that! This means I can spend the next 3 years or so endlessly researching international/Russian adoption and be totally "in the know" when we do decide we are ready to begin this process. So this may be the last you'll hear about it for a long while, ;-)


Marilyn said...

When I was in high school I tutored a girl who was adopted from Russia. She was adopted when she was 7 or so and was about 10 when I started helping her with english and spelling.

One thing her mom talked to me about was how many orphanages in Russia are...well, terrible. The girl, Julia, was amazing some days and other days would actually spit at me and hit me. It was hard to relate to the fact that she was in the orphanage system there for 7 years...

justadrienne said...

Yeah that is crazy! We definitely want an infant and possibly a toddler or very young child. I don't think we'd go older than 3. People that are able to adopt older children are seriously my heros, I think it would be too difficult for me!!

EricaG said...

This is so exciting, Adrienne! We also plan to adopt one day. Perhaps from foster care. DH isn't sold on the international adoption. How exciting that you are making plans now :)

justadrienne said...

We might be interested in working through the foster care system someday, perhaps when our kids are older.

I think international adoption calls to me because I know how awful it is for kids to grow up in an orphanage--I want to save kids from a life like that.

mariclare said...

that's really awesome! sky and i have said many times that if we were to ever have kids, we'd adopt. but that would only be in the distant future, if/when we're ever ready financially and in terms of our life-style. so hearing about the info you have is interesting, and it makes me feel happy that a pair of siblings might potentially be rescued from the horrible orphanages in russia by some amazing people in connecticut ;) i love the idea of adoption.

justadrienne said...

Couldn't help pointing out that this post has caused ads for Russian Mail order brides to appear on my page--that's pretty hilarious!!

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